Wintoplay

How do you know when Santa is allergic to mince pies?.Well,his nose and face go bright red and he just cant get his Elf right. Sign at village cannibalism convention read ´´YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT´´ A road traffic police officer pulled 2 bears up on the motorway.They were in the middle lane singing and dancing and they were actually naked..´´What do you think you´re up too asked the officer´´?..´´Well´´ replied the bears in unison ´´We´re off to a party and were told to bring the bare necessities´´. Burglar bypasses alarm security in a mansion..He is rubbin his hands as he sets his eyes on the silverware..After a few minutes operating in the dark he hears gently whispered words ´´Jesus is watching you ´´..His heart thumps but he reckons it´s just his conscience.He carries on collecting the swag and scooping it into his swag bag..Few minutes pass and again he hears ´´ Jesus is watching you´´..This time his heart really races but he thinks cant leave now so he carries on..Again,after a few minutes he hears ´´ Jesus is watching you I tell you Jesus is watching you´´..He cant bare it no more so he switches the light on at the very moment a rottweiler pounces on him..Parrot says ´´ I told you Jesus was watching you´´. A bloke goes to his Doctors for some Viagra and the Doc says great this just say one two three when you want to use it and one two three four when you wanna stop..He rushes home to his wife and jumps into bed next to her and says one two three and his wife says what you saying one two three for Martin tells Paddy that his son is about to be circumcised..Oh no dont do that says Paddy I had it done when I was a baby..Well,did it hurt asks Martin..Did it hurt says Paddy tell you what I couldn´t walk for a year.. It was only the credit squeeze but I still got arrested and a slap (lmao).........